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Lo​-​fi Hymns for a Midlife Crisis

by Chris Ferguson

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1.
The night is all upon us The lights have all gone dim My eyes are all up on you Your eyes are upon him I've become accustomed To disappointments such as these It's not your fault, you're just symptom Of a community disease I try to hold on But you only talk about the weather And somehow I know This is how it is It will never get better But I'm looking for one true soul Among the prideful and the vain I'm looking for two ruby lips That go soft when they call my name And I'm looking for two arms to hold me When the world pushes me away And I'm looking for One shot of whiskey in a river of champagne The world seems to be shrinking The walls are closing in I have spun around my rolodex Time and time again I've become accustomed To wandering aimlessly But if just one hand would reach out That would be enough for me And so I Hold on Blame it on stormy weather But somehow I know It's the longest of shots It will never get better But I'm looking for one true soul Among the prideful and the vain I'm looking for two ruby lips That go soft when they call my name And I'm looking for two arms to hold me When the world pushes me away And I'm looking for One shot of whiskey in a river of champagne
2.
I was down in New York City And I met a lcady there She was a broken kind of pretty Wilted flower in her hair And it seemed as though she'd been there all along Flipping through pages, reciting psalms It was a quarter past 5:30 And I had to catch a train Sometimes a feeling that it's early Is enough to make you late And it felt like I didn't sleep at all I stayed up sketching her silhouette across my bedroom wall So I went back into the city Found her standing in Times Square Took the rose behind ear Tossed a petal in the air and said I don't need your love I don't need, need, need your love I don't need your love, need your love tonight I don't need, need, need your love I don't need, need, need your love But if you want to hang round awhile I guess that'd be alright Now I have sailed the ocean Tossed and torn up by the tide And I've spent nearly every moment Thinking of her by my side You know, the waves can only wash away so much And I've tried to move on, but I'm losing my touch And now somewhere inside some city There's a lady standing there Thinking about that day I took the flower from her hair and said I don't need your love I don't need, need, need your love I don't need your love, need your love tonight I don't need, need, need your love I don't need, need, need your love But if you want to hang round awhile I guess that'd be alright The bigger, the deeper, stronger the love The stronger the current, the more dangerous the flood The greater the flood, the harder to find higher ground Yeah, the bigger the love, the quicker you drown That is not what I need That is not what I need I don't need your love need your love Need need need your love tonight
3.
There is a prophet Who told me the future About how I'd die And then move along And when I asked him How to prepare my soul He closed his eyes Then sang me this song Jesus don't love you For reading the Bible Jesus don't love you For your brimstone revival And Jesus don't love you From the heavens above For anything other Than the way that you love I have been wronged, now And I have been bitter I've been taken And I have been scorned But he told me something I'd never considered When you practice forgiveness Then you are reborn Jesus don't love you For shouting his name Jesus don't love you For telling others they should do the same No matter often you say it It will not be enough Cause he only loves you For the way that you love You may believe That you walk straight and narrow Because from the pulpit You heard it was so But it's best when you realize That most of that's horeshit Just do unto others... You know how that goes Cause Jesus don’t love you For what you do on Sundays If you wake up on Monday And act like a dick You can scream Hallelujah Quote scriptures and stuff But he only loves you For the way that you love Just don't be an asshole And that's almost enough Cause he only loves you For the way that you love
4.
Rest Assured 04:13
It is no easier to talk about the things that brought us here Even though we've gone around 100 times But you reach a point of pointlessness And that ringing in your ears Soon becomes the soundtrack of your life I could not move forward without atonement But I know getting that would only tear us apart So give me coffee and an open road song And as we roll along we'll try to find What put us in each other's hearts Rest assured this road is not for the timid Rest assured.that this road is ever long But if you if you find a way to hold onto my hand Rest assured I'll always do the best I can Every other day is like a fantasy Every other day is living hell I get whiplash going back and forth Ever since we headed north Night turns into day despite itself But goddamn we've never had it quite so well Rest assured that there is endless work to do Rest assured that bigger men have broken But if you stand by me even when I'm not my best Rest assured my darling that I will never rest It took me 7 years to write this song 7 years of wretch and wonder 7 years of waking, wondering why I'm here But also looking forward to the next 7 years I can't figure how it ends But I'm sworn to make the most of every moment Maybe we'll grow old together or Maybe babe it would be better If we just disappeared and didn't know it Became stardust on the winds in outer space Particles of you and me Blowing through the galaxy What a stellar way to go The universe would not know what hit it That's how we always did it And rest assured the constellations would align Rest assured the dimmest stars would shine I hope you'll save me one last dance As we drift across the great expanse But rest assured that you will always be mine
5.
I woke up this morning And you said softly in my ear I've had enough, and then you shouted I've had it up to hear And it's just as well Cause since you been here with me You say some crazy shit That I could not believe Why don't you love me the way that I love you? Why must you hurt me and treat me like you do? You made a promise to me And now I can finally see, oh baby You don't know how to treat your man My friends never liked you But I never listened to what they say Cause I'd take one look at you And figured it was just sour grapes And it's just as well Cause if they could see me know I know they'd never Ever let me live it down Hey! Why don't you love me the way that I love you? Why must you hurt me and treat me like you do? You made a promise to me And now I can finally see, oh baby You don't know how to treat your man My empty bed, my lonely footsteps Things that you took, everything you left All that I see, everything I know Taken from me, sure as the wind blows Promise of love, bearer of pain Promise of sunshine, bringer of rain All that I wanted, all that I need Dangled in front of then taken from me But it's just as well Cause when you were here with me I can't remember a time I didn't cry myself to sleep Hey! Why don't you love me the way that I love you? Why must you hurt me and treat me like you do? You made a promise to me And now I can finally see, oh baby You don't know how to treat your man
6.
In the shadows of suburban filth There shines the brightest glow And it comes to you from above And best believin' from below She emerges from the darkness With a shimmer you've not seen She pulls your ear down to her lips And whispers that she's the queen But she was born to make you see stars And she was born to break your heart Yo ho ho Yo ho hoooooo She's a lady first and last Though some would call her whore-ish For she does always aim to please Her command is always your wish And the antiseptic whiskey Flows above, below, within ya And damned is he who falls in love With the Queen of Yorba Linda She will drain you of your conscience Just as well as drain your wallet A bargain for a bastard No matter what you call it But no matter when it's over It always ends too soon Every man ends up on his knees That is taken by her tune And she'll tell you to take a chance Cause she knows that you're unlucky And she knows that you can't dance She's a lady first and last Though some would call her whore-ish For she does always aim to please Her command is always your wish And the antiseptic whiskey Flows above, below, within ya And damned is he who falls in love With the Queen of Yorba Linda She wants to know your secrets So she can unlock your soul And you will hand her the key And she will steal them all And the liquor from your chalice Only dribbles down your chin It always ends like this, you cannot resist The queen of Yorba Lin...da
7.
8.
Mistakes 03:33
Busted flat in Yorba Linda Waiting for a beer Or something to happen Nothing ever happens here But there's a place on main street Where the water doesn't flow But if you're holding onto something Brother you can let it go It was long day But now it's OK So come on Patty, open up another bottle of wine Red or white, gimme something that might open up my my mind And I know you gotta get up early, but it's only half past nine Still plenty of time to make some mistakes tonight Nothing is lonelier Than dancing with yourself Besides the moon if full And they just stocked the shelves The queen of yorba linda Has just been crowned There's a drummer in the corner Shaking his shit around It was a long day But now it's OK So come on Patty, open up another bottle of wine Red or white, gimme something that might open up my my mind And I know you gotta get up early, but it's only half past nine Still plenty of time to make some mistakes tonight You will never look back fondly on this Tell your friends I was the best Cause this would never happen If we weren't both a mess You can call your priest in the morning Now ain't the time to confess Rationalize a little And let the bottle do the rest So come on Patty, open up another bottle of wine Red or white, gimme something that might open up my my mind And I know you gotta get up early, but it's only half past nine Still plenty of time to make some mistakes tonight Yeah, there's plenty of time to make some mistakes tonight
9.
10.
Valentimes 05:20
In a time when he wasn't expecting much He made his plans and he made his way He packed his lunch and he took home his pay He figured tomorrow would be just like today She floated to him as light as a breeze She made him buckle and she made him shake He helped her clean up her leaves with a rake She cooked him medium well sirloin steak And he said... If you'll be my valentine I can be a star that shines all night If you say your love will be mine I will be the source of every light If you say you'll never let me go I will make sure you always know That I will do all of these things No matter what tomorrow brings You could never be anything but my angel tonight You could never be anything but alright He had a heart that could melt margarine She held the secrets of his soul They took a trip way down to kentucky When they came to a tollbooth, they paid the toll And she'd say... If you'll be my valentine I can be the fire keeps you warm If you'd say your heart will be mine I could be a superhero If you say you'll never let me go I will crawl through the wind and snow And I will do all of these things No matter what tomorrow brings You could never be anything but my angel tonight You could never be anything but just right And in the end, it all begins Tomorrow is all there's left to do A life together a place for two You don't find love like that, it finds you You don't find love like that, it finds you And he'd say... If you be my valentine You know i will walk the line If you say you'll always be mine I'll be yours till the end of time If you say you'll never let me go I will never let you go And i will do all of these things No matter what tomorrow brings You could never be anything but my angel tonight...
11.
Everybody wants something new Everybody wants a fresh start I thought I'd take a chance and uproot Left a wake of broken hearts And as the sun falls over the hillside And a staggering beauty is unfurled I think to my self and I realize It may as well be all clouds and grey skies When you don’t have a friend in the world Trying to find a way for my voice to be heard I make my way to the microphone Pour my heart with every word But I may as well be all alone My voice comes back to me off the back wall Above the buzz from a table of high school girls Every note that I sing withers and dies But that should come as no surprise Cause I don’t have a friend in the world I’ll hold onto the moments of joy when they come Twist them into knots that cannot be uncurled Hold them uncomfortably close Guess that’s how it goes When you don’t have a friend in the world
12.
The earth seems to be turning But somehow seems so still I sense unanswered yearnings So much that is unfulfilled Everything is broken But in a special way As it all falls apart It seems to fall right into place Times are not just troubled Times are not just strange Time is short and getting shorter We are upon end of days! But tonight we drink for conquest And tonight we drink for war Let us drink for happy endings For the end is at our door Tonight we drink for famine And tonight we drink for death Let us drink for lost tomorrows For we've no tomorrow's left Stars have started falling It's your last chance to make a wish If you've ever had an itch to scratch It's time to scratch that itch So fellas grab your ladies And if you have none, have no fear There's no better time to land a lass Then when the end is near Smoke em if you got em Diddle while you can Raise em high and toss them back Behold the end of man! But tonight we drink for conquest And tonight we drink for war Let us drink for happy endings For the end is at our door Tonight we drink for famine And tonight we drink for death Let us drink for lost tomorrows For we've no tomorrow's left There's a harlot in the hallway There are horsemen down the road There is wormwood in the water There is fire from below Hell has broken loose I can hear the trumpets blow The sun has now gone black There is sulfur in my nose So, eat drink an be merry For tomorrow we'll all die The earth is all ablaze And fire in the sky But tonight we drink for conquest And tonight we drink for war Let us drink for happy endings For the end is at our door Tonight we drink for famine And tonight we drink for death Let us drink for lost tomorrows For we've no tomorrow's left Skiddlee dee, skiddlee do A tip of the hat in a tippy canoe May as well drink what else can we do? We're all gonna die!
13.
There is a prophet Who told me the future About how I'd die And then move along And when I asked him How to prepare my soul He closed his eyes Then sang me this song Jesus don't love you For reading the Bible Jesus don't love you For your brimstone revival And Jesus don't love you From the heavens above For anything other Than the way that you love I have been wronged, now And I have been bitter I've been taken And I have been scorned But he told me something I'd never considered When you practice forgiveness Then you are reborn Jesus don't love you For shouting his name Jesus don't love you For telling others they should do the same No matter often you say it It will not be enough Cause he only loves you For the way that you love You may believe That you walk straight and narrow Because from the pulpit You heard it was so But it's best when you realize That most of that's horeshit Just do unto others... You know how that goes Cause Jesus don’t love you For what you do on Sundays If you wake up on Monday And act like a dick You can shout Hallelujah Quote scriptures and stuff But he only loves you For the way that you love Just don't be an asshole And that's almost enough Cause he only loves you For the way that you love

about

This is a record written by a man living through the difficult mid-life period of my life. I’m on the upswing to be sure, but I’m continually re-examining things and getting strength wherever I can find it. There are questions of faith, both my own and society’s (hence “hymns”). It’s not really lo-fi, but I thought it’s be when I came up with that title. Not to overstate it - most of this is just part of the normal process of reconciling getting older.

The development of these songs has been something I’ve very much cherished, and I’m happy to share them with you. I’ve grown pretty fond of them, and I hope you can find something that you like about them.

credits

released April 30, 2019

All music and lyrics written and performed by Chris Ferguson, except "Midlife Crisis" (written by Mike Patton, Roddy Bottum, Mike Bordin and Billy Gould, performed by Chris Ferguson) and "I've Done Everything for You" (written by Sammy Hagar, performed by Chris Ferguson. All songs Copyright © 2019 Chris Ferguson Music. All rights reserved.

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