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Under the Microscope

by Chris Ferguson

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1.
It's not open to interpretation Her words are never minced She let me know what was on her mind Don't remember when I felt so maligned And things haven't been quite the same since She wrote I hate you in marker in the bedroom You're no good for me in pencil in the hall I'd be better off on my own In crayon by the telephone I guess you could say The writing's on the wall... I'm starting to think it's time to end this Her poetry of insults of knows no bounds Give me broken glass or mustard gas Her repertoire is growing fast And somehow it reads even worse than it sounds She wrote you're worthless in ballpoint in the kitchen You can't satisfy in the bathroom stall I have had my fill with ink and quill Just below the window sill I guess you could say the writing's on the wall She's the Michelangelo of hurting feelings "You're dead to me" in lipstick all across the ceiling... When it's over, i know I'll miss her she's a beauty, she's an artist and my world Yeah, I know she lives to torture me From the nailpolish ont he TV But it just won't be the same without my girl She's the Henri Mattisse of breaking spirits "You're a waste of space" in watercolor above the chandelier And it's starting to get to me, when I read... I hate you in marker in the bedroom You're no good for me in pencil in the hall I'd be better off on my own In crayon by the telephone I guess you could say The writing's on the wall...
2.
I don't wanna sell anything Buy anything Or process anything As a career I dont want to sell anything Bought or processed Or buy anything Sold or processed Or process anything Sold, bought or processed... Or repair anything Sold, bought or processed you know...as a career I don't want to do that I don't want to do that I don't want to do that My father's in the army He wants me to join But I can't work For that corporation So what I've been Doing lately Is kick boxing Which is a new sport As far as career longevity... As far as career longevity... As far as career longevity... I don't really know I don't really know I can't Figure it all out tonight, so Figure it all out tonight, so Figure it all out tonight, so I'm just gonna hang....... With your daughter Uh huh Someone told me the world's full of guys Someone told me no, you're not a guy Someone told me don't be a guy Be man So, I gave her my heart I gave her my heart I gave her my heart And she gave me a pen She gave me a pen
3.
She was childlike in her aspirations In a way, she wanted to save the world She saw no reason she couldn't have it all And you can't reason with little girls I guess she needed to find someone Who allowed her to believe That there's no difference, there is no distinction Between what you want and what you need I can almost understand Why she'd be drawn to such a fool But you don't know what it means to be a man And I've never been cool I tried cast off all my worries Throw my troubles to the wind Roam the countryside in search of my own happiness But that's not who I am I can almost understand The draw of breaking all the rules But you don't know what it means to be a man And I've never been cool I had hoped my struggle wouldn't go unnoticed My efforts not be put to waste Only to find that I had shouldered the wrong burden All of my energies misplaced I never held a winning hand Came up short a time or two I've taken what I've had And I've done the best I can But I've never been cool You'll never know what it means to be a man And I'll never be cool
4.
I've been in something of a rut for as long as I can recall I have analyzed my actions and the outcome of them all Seems like no matter what tack I take to get over that hill I'm either going back and forth or completely standing still I've applied the scientific method to my situation I've recorded no velocity nor observed acceleration I've measured angles of incidence and angles of reflection Yet I always end up headed in the wrong direction And every time I think that I've figured something out Seems that my approach was faulty or my methods were unsound Guess all I know Is that's the way it goes They say work equals force times distance That seems reasonable That seems fair But I guess I must not be working hard enough Cause I been pushing my whole life Without going anywhere If matter can be neither created nor destroyed When I ask you what's the matter, why do you seem so annoyed? Your reaction's surely opposite, but seems twice as severe Leading me to think the laws of nature do not apply here I'm almost certainly not feline, though, in some ways I'm the same For I'm both living and dying at the mention of your name PV=nRT, but I don't want to pressure you Besides I end up with a chill, no matter what I say or do And every time I figure I've figured you out You introduce another variable and mix me up somehow I'm so confused Aww what's the use? If work equals force times distance Seems like everything I do Should move me closer to you But when push comes to shove, I guess it's not enough Cause I'm on the boulevard And you're down the avenue And so, I've written off everything that I have ever read About the universe and how it works all that's in my head Has only brought defeat, the numbers don't add up for me You can take all of your proof and theories, bury them at sea Cause every time that I apply the lessons that I've learned Turns out I haven't moved a meter, only the world has turned Or revolved around the sun and here I sit back at square one If work equals force times distance How come every move I make Puts one more hammer to the stake I can pull I can push, doesn't seem to matter much At the end of the day I'm still sitting in the same place Sinking in the same quicksand And no matter how many of my steps that I retrace They only lead me back to where I am So maybe work equals force times distance But I don't give a damn
5.
Hey, I know You don't mean the things you say No more At least not the way I think you do At least not the way They're coming through But then I know that I have shown A way of catching on so slow By the time I catch the things you throw You've already moved along And I try to grab ahold. I'll scribble down some sweetness Convince you to come back For 6 months down the same road 6 months riding the same track And I'm starting to believe You were on the right track When you stopped believing in me There's a part Of me that wants to break your heart Maybe beat you to the quick Maybe but I'm mired in the thick And there's so much that we could do And it's so easy to find an excuse So I always pedal back What good are the facts? Through some lethal combination of tequila and moonlight Somehow even the worst ideas Survive the failing night But I'm starting to believe You had the right idea When you stopped believing in me You can sing a new song Until you've lost your voice But everything you do suggests You felt you had not choice And I'm starting to believe You made the right decision When you stopped believing in me Yes I'm starting to believe That you were onto something When you stopped believing in me
6.
Somewhere between the sunset And the glowing of the stars There's a darkness you can't hide from And there's a depth within the dark When you're caught within that moment Everything you do and feel Disappears into the ether Makes you wonder what was real The sun was shining through the window When she gave me the news I sharpened my blade And I cut her loose When hearts are for the taking There are those that will oblige There is water under foot Stepping stones in short supply But the thing about pursuing Only that which which glimmers most You end up traveling in circles Or walking up and down the coast The albatross has flown Availed himself of the abuse I sharpened my blade I cut her loose I have loved her endlessly I have done all that I could I have been more man than monster I have been less bad than good I have sold all my possessions Just to try and buy the truth But I was swindled and was taken Left with nothing to lose You can't ride the fence forever There comes a time you have to choose So I sharpened my blade And I cut her loose
7.
There are bats in the belfry and the bell is cracked It rang once for my love, but she never came back I'm still waiting on her letter, but the facts is facts She went crazy... I met her one time coming through a toll booth She had 3 buttons down and a lipstick tooth She seemed pretty open to making change So I got her phone number, gave her a ring She asked me to meet her at the coffee shop She said she hates coffee, but that's her spot If you don't like coffee, I said, why bother? She said goddamn, they have the best hot water There are bats in the belfry and the bell is cracked It rang once for my love, but she never came back I'm still waiting on her letter, but the facts is facts She went crazy...nearly gave me... A heart attack I went to see her at the institute An orderly escorted me to her room The window was open, and the wind blew through Nothing left but the smell of perfume Doctor says I'd be better off to let her go But I know a thing or two the doctor don't Doctor says she don't act like a good woman should Say, but I never seen a straighjacket look so good There are bats in the belfry and the bell is cracked It rang once for my love, but she never came back I'm still waiting on her letter, but the facts is facts She went crazy...nearly gave me... A heart attack In one single moment, she fulfilled all my wishes Then she turned around and broke all my dishes There is no denying that she's got a few screws loose But nutty girls need love too There are bats in the belfry and the bell is cracked It rang once for my love, but she never came back I'm still waiting on her letter, but the facts is facts She went crazy...nearly gave me... A heart attack
8.
Pink Slip 03:38
When it started out You know, I had the best intentions All I ever wanted to do Is take care of you By the time I hit the ceiling I had got a sinking feeling That it wasn't good enough Just to make it through You got my love and my money One lasts forever. The other, well, who knows? When rainy days are upon us Where's your devotion? Where does your dedication go? What happens when the pink slip drops What happens when the paychecks stop What happens then What happens when you gotta getta job What happens when the seeds you've sown Disappear into the ground below What happens then What happens when you hear the rooster crow Fast forward 20 years I gotta house full a kids I gotta drawer full of bills I gotta head full of tension You never seem to say much But you know the buttons to push You always knew How to get my attention I hear the clock it is ticking I've seen that expression before You got a bun in the oven You got one hand in my pocket And one eye on the door What happens when the pink slip drops What happens when the paychecks stop What happens then What happens when you gotta getta job What happens when the seeds you've sown Disappear into the ground below What happens then What happens when you hear the rooster crow What happened to the girl I knew What happened to a heart so true That sailed away upon the day The slightest wind blows through Now what happens when sun hangs low What happens when the darkness grows What happens then What happens when the light don't shine on you What happens when the pink slip drops What happens when the paychecks stop What happens then What happens when you gotta getta job What happens when the seeds you've sown Disappear into the ground below What happens then What happens when you hear the rooster crow
9.
Like a Thief 03:47
There was something in the way you used to look at me I could feel at as I stared down at the floor Something in the physics and the chemistry That had me thinking I'd always be yours There were satellites that carried me your signal Waves of you were moving through the air And any time I that I detected interference I wouldn't say it. I wouldn't even dare. But every time I thought I'd had the handle Turns out my grip was never quite so strong You came like a thief And you made me believe That everything I owned Was yours to take as you pleased So you took what you wanted And you left me feeling haunted By the vision of you walking out the door You always overdo it when I'm driving That's why I'm always handing you the keys Cause somewhere between the pickled haze And the attention You find new ways to bring me to my knees And even though I know how the night ends I hold out hope that for once I am wrong You came like a thief And you made me believe That everything I owned Was yours to take as you pleased So you took what you wanted And you left me feeling haunted By the vision of you walking out the door Some things you can't take back once they've been spoken Once it's been witnessed, you can't say it wasn't there I am broken in a way that can't be put back together There are pieces of me scattered everywhere And everyone who never thought to tell me Will now tell me that they knew it all along You came like a thief And you made me believe That everything I owned Was yours to take as you pleased So you took what you wanted And you left me feeling haunted By the vision of you walking out the door I can still see you as you're walking out the door
10.
I didn't want to get out of bed this morning Come to think of it that's how I felt yesterday and the day before But there working on the street outside my window It's like they were jackhammering sunlight in my face, I dunno I had to turn my head away...and there you were Oblivious, fast asleep I remember now That was my last good memory 'Least I think so. They've all faded somehow. Every time that I start thinking That things are different I remember - I'm just a two time loser And I'm desperate for a win Now it's not like things are falling apart or caving in It's not like the house is burning But the weather's changing, clouds are rolling overhead It's not just the temperature - the seasons are turning And as I go over in my head Everything that I've done wrong I realize I'm just a broken record And I'm desperate for a song Na Na Na Na Hey Hey Heaven help the ones who love me Sometimes it seems like I was born to let them down Heaven help the ones who hate me They're just wasting time Can't they see that I'm too low to be brought down And everytime that i start thinking Maybe things could be different You remind me: I'm just a two time loser And I'm desperate for a win Na Na Na Na Hey Hey I'm just a two time loser...
11.
There's nothing left between us Marianne I've put on a good face. I've done the best that I can I've heard your whole life story but that's not why I came You've taken up my evening and my mother's name And the crowd that you've got waiting in the wings Only serves to remind me that love stinks I know when something's rotten How the hell had I forgotten What was I thinking You give me love But, but I've had for miles I need appreciation, need appreciation I've been driving all night Through the valley of hearts Now I need, I need a destination Alright Come November, there's nothing left for us I can't even remember what there ever was... I've used up all my money, and I've seen all your moves But I've got one more dance in me, if you've got one in you Through the evening breeze my vision starts to clear Makes me wonder how either of us ended up here On roads paved with good intentions Days and nights too long to mention For so many years You give me love But, but I've had for miles I need appreciation, need appreciation I've been driving all night Through the valley of hearts Now I need, I need a destination And if don't know what that means Then I don't know what to say It's just another breakdown On the shoulder of the interstate I wrote a song about a girl named Candy But I'm not sure I can pull it off I'm not much of the poet And even when I'm angry my voice is still soft So I'll drink a prayer to comfort And hope that comfort comes If I can't be satisfied I can sure as hell be numb What hope I've got is starting to erode And I gave up on beauty so long ago There's nothing left to say And there's nothing left to save Bless my soul You give me love But, but I've had for miles I need appreciation, need appreciation I've been driving all night Through the valley of hearts Now I need, I need a destination And if don't know what that means Then I don't know what to say It's just another takedown It's just another shakedown It's just another breakdown On the shoulder of the interstate
12.
Gonna put a bullet in you Give myself something to do Times are hard out in the yard Gonna put a bullet in you Then I'll pray for forgiveness I will try to make my peace And I won't get no sleep tonight But I got mouths to feed My hands used to be calloused My back was twisted and sore They used to bring them by the truckload Before they discovered the cure I have gathered all my pennies From the wedding ring I hawked The best way to multiply them Is to put them in a sock I've got nothing left worth saving All I've found I soon have lost For me walking straight and narrow Is like trying to dig through the frost There's an angel lies beside me Asking me to change my ways I don't like to disappoint her But I got bills to pay Gonna put a bullet in you Give myself something to do Times are hard out in the yard Gonna put a bullet in you
13.
I've been living in a petrie dish Inspected and magnified Trapped inside the glass My moon is your cold blue eye Nothing looks the same When you get in close Nothing's quite as pretty Once it's been exposed But that's the way it goes Under the microscope You have lost all desire To see things on a broader scale You isolate my weaknesses And through the lens, you see me fail Nothing looks the same When you get in close Nothing's quite as pretty Once it's been exposed But that's the way it goes Under the microscope

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released October 7, 2014

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